Trad Strife
Such a fine line between cooking from scratch and practicing polygamy.
The rise of #MomTok and reality shows like “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” might make for entertaining, vaguely horny television from a certain distance. But up close, the mainstreaming of the Trad Wife is creeping us out.
Sure, in a world where we’re always overstimulated by our phones, there is something appealing about taking time to unplug and bake a loaf of bread from scratch. But thanks to that trend, taking time to get away from it all and eat farm-fresh eggs feels like a short leap to being dead-eyed in a long skirt.
By all means, raise your chickens and goats, but do it in Uggs and Daisy Dukes, or basketball shorts and slides, or however you choose to express yourself when you dip your biscuits in locally sourced honey at sunrise. Just remember, when you’re doing your morning stretches and affirmations (or smoking a cigarette with coffee), fundamentalism doesn’t have a monopoly on simplicity. So let's take back the bread, and maybe a shot of Ilegal Mezcal, because this house has no rules.
Whoopi (And Women’s Sports) For the Win
Whoopi Goldberg is at it again. Proving that if you want something done, you should do it yourself, the EGOT winner-Cannabis entrepreneur-obvious best View host has embarked on a new venture: TV sports network owner. In an announcement for her All Women’s Sports Network (AWSN), Goldberg said the creation of the channel, which will feature women’s sports from all around the world, was 11 years coming. “Women are playing sports all around the world,” Goldberg explains, adding, “Women have not really been invited to this party.” This is hardly an exaggeration. A media study conducted in 2019 by USC/ Purdue University over 30 years found that just 5% of sports broadcasts were women’s events. The All Women’s Sports Network looks to shake up those numbers by running 24/7 and featuring sports from 65 countries.
Women’s sports in America are having a big, if overdue, moment. There are the US women’s soccer players who became the most decorated international team in the world while fighting and winning a game-changing wage discrimination case. The 2024 Women’s March Madness broadcast saw a 10 million viewer jump from the previous year. Stars like Angel Reese and Caitlin Clark have become household names and prompted a 150% increase in WNBA bets at sports books this season.
A few smart bar owners are realizing that where there are women’s sports, there are people looking to drink and watch them. Here are a few of our favorite places to put a couple back and watch your favorite team put up good numbers.
Watch Me! Long Beach, CA
The menu includes bone-in or cauliflower wings and an optional “side of equity” ($5 donation to help with pay parity in women’s sports)
The Sports Bra, Portland, OR
This Portland base concept was early to the women’s sports bar scene and announced this year that it will begin franchising.
A Bar of Their Own, Minneapolis, MN Serves classics like “Knockout Nachos” and veggie-friendly items like “Free Kick Kimchi Carnitas”
Whiskey Girl Tavern, Chicago, IL
This northside bar shows various sporting events but is known for being “the spot” in Chicago for watching the WNBA. And even if they have the NFL playing during football season too, you can still catch their bartenders in t-shirts that say, “Support Women’s Sports.”
Highly Functioning
Despite lazy stoner stereotypes, studies show that cannabis users display as much motivation as non-users. And for people who respond positively to weed, taking a few hits off of a joint or a vape, nibbling on an edible, or sipping a tincture can make chores more fun. To prove this, Hooky will be combining a variety of cannabis products with procrastination-prone tasks. This week, we paired Flora + Blast Sativa gummies with cleaning the bathroom.
Just like stoners, Kratom gets a bad reputation not just because of all the sketchy neon signs but because it can be used to manage opioid withdrawal. Kratom has sedative effects in large doses, but in smaller microdoses, it can have stimulant effects. That is what makes the Flora + Blast gummies especially helpful — it combines THC with just under a third of a gram of Kratom, for just enough of a boost to clean your ass off.
I took mine after a hot yoga session and healthy lunch for the most focused, edorphin-feuled effects possible. In the end, I am relatively certain I cleaned the bathroom faster with the combination of a little Kratom and THC. Other stoner achievers anecdotally agree that the tag team is great for getting things done.
I would rather smoke my leftover Thanksgiving stash of joints and relax in my claw tub, but it was undoubtedly scrub-a-dub-dubbed due to these peppy gummies.
🔹Flora + Blast contains 10 mg THC per serving
Smoking Section
Notes from a sporadic dirty habit.
#3 After dinner coffee is an underrated but essential part of the Thanksgiving meal. This year, I have mine outside, with a cigarette. The bitterness somehow makes up for the two pieces of pie I just ate. At least when I smoke, I only have one.
The Dog Days of Holiday Sweaters
Although there are plenty of year-round dog-in-clothes pet parents out there (and we salute them), the holiday season is a special time of year. It is a season where even the most Scroogey individuals who swear they’d never dress their dogs up get hopped up on enough egg nog to think: “I should put my mastiff in a scarf.”
From there, it’s a slippery slope to full dogs-in-sweaters mode. But honestly, do you really want your pup to take pictures with Santa naked? Look, you didn’t wait in line all day to introduce your dog to an imaginary cultural figure just to make it weird. So cover up your Frenchie’s summer nips with this sensible, festive pullover or a reindeer sweater, which will have larger breeds strutting around the neighborhood like they work for Santa. And if they’re gonna let that guy break in without biting his beardy face off, who’s to say they don’t?
Chair Pose With a Seatbelt on: We All Need Airplane Yoga
Holiday travel can make your back knotty. Nothing nice about that. Luckily, even when you’re crammed into a space the size of a large milk jug, there are ways to move..kind of. Airplane yoga may not replace classes at your heated studio, but it might get you from San Francisco to St. Louis in one piece.
We love these moves from America’s instructor, Adriene Mishler (of Yoga with Adriene).
The Forecast: Bitcoin is at $95,709.26/Gold is at $2,664.90/Packers at Lions Thursday Night 12/5 5:15pm PT/8:15pm ET/Before zooming in on a New Year’s Resolution, consider this recommendation from the American Psychological Association to start small and change one habit at a time
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