Don’t Tell Me What To Wear on My Feet, Perverts
You’re all sock in the head.
.
Many people have predicted what trends will be IN and OUT for 2025, but we have one crucial addition to add to the passé pile. Judging other people’s sock choices is the most out of style. No matter if they’re ankle socks, crew socks, or knee high compression socks, they are the underwear of the feet. That means unless they’re dirty or wet, they’re none of their business.
It’s unclear where the “sock war” started, but the New York Times credits content creator Phoebe Parsons, an admitted ankle sock-wearing millennial, with one of the earliest observations that ankle socks showed your age. We always assumed that it was a younger Gen Z influencer cyberbullying us about our exposed ankles (and, of course, the youths helped). But for geriatric millennials who cashed in their hidden socks for exposed ones, the call was coming from inside the house all along.
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If the transition from tall, tubed socks of the 1970s to ankle socks in the 2000s has taught us anything, it is that what goes up must come down. So, even if you bought crew socks in an embarrassing attempt to cling to your youth, soon you may be folding them under your feet again in the name of another viral trend. Or you could take back some power and wear whatever you want on your feet, even if it’s two banana peels to prove they're not very slippery.
If someone has a problem with it, they can deal with being the Quentin Tarantino of the worst part of feet. Get a hobby and maybe a pedicure, weirdo.
The Ultimate Moderation Hack: More Bubbles
Sparkling water. Seltzer. Bubbly water. Whatever you call the stuff, if you are like most Americans, you’re low (or high) key addicted to the stuff. According to recent data, North Americans account for over 30% of the worlds’ sparkling water sales, and we helped guzzle down over 700 million dollars of just the brand La Croix alone in 2024. Sparkling water has long been embraced by the sober community as a booze replacement. They’re refreshing, slightly painful to drink, and come in a handy beer-sized shape that gives you something to hold at parties.
You don’t have to give up the sauce entirely to have an excuse to get your Pamplemousse on. Actually, soda water is an expert-level hack for moderate drinking, especially at weddings, on vacations, or other occasions that may call for all-day or all-night imbibing. Alternating bubbles with booze is an easy way to prevent over intoxication and hangovers.
For starters, drinking is a diuretic. This is a clinical way of saying it makes you pee like a racehorse and dehydrates your body like roadside jerky. According to Dr. Jim Woodford on WebMd, for every one alcoholic drink we have, our bodies expel four times that amount of liquid. Sparkling water has been shown to be just as hydrating as flat water, so putting one of those into the rotation for every drink you have helps replenish your hydration right away.
Sticking to a 1:1 booze to bubbles ratio also helps keep the party going in a very simple way: it slows you down. Carbonated waters take longer to drink than tap water, and when you’re nursing one of those, you’re letting the alcohol you had in the previous drink metabolize. This of course, also means that at the end of the night (or day) your total booze count is lower.
Reaching for a seltzer also helps scratch the social itch to the kitchen and grab something from the fridge, without mindlessly drinking more than we mean to.
It should be said that like brewskis, soda water itself should be consumed in moderation. Chugging too much of it has been shown to be bad for your teeth. So that’s…something edgy? Rock and roll. (And hydrate)
Jam Sesh: Best Pajamas To Pair With Cozy Cannabis
We all can appreciate a wine and cheese pairing (or candy and cheese, if you’re feeling adventurous). That got our highly functional wheels turning: what if we matched our favorite pajamas with pot? Of course, we have combined comfy clothes with weed before, but this is just the first time we’re doing it on paper. (Errr…computer?)
🟦 Muha Meds’ Watermelon Indica 10mg gummies and Ekouaer’s Women’s Short Sleeve Pajama Set:
These watermelon gummies and lightweight jammies are best suited for a gal who runs hot or lives in a warmer region. But with the right lounging blanket and attitude, anyone can pull off this pajama high with a little help from their friends at Muha Meds, where all of their products are made with 100% organically grown cannabis.
🟦 Gelato Canna’s 10mg Infused Sugar Cones and Lonxu’s Men’s Long Sleeve Silk Satin Pajama Set: Eating delicious sugar cones filled with cannabis chocolates before bed is the peak of luxury. It takes a guy who can confidently relax dressed like a member of TLC in the music video “Creep” to pull off that level of swag. A smoking jacket is optional, but obviously encouraged.
◆ Verano’s Space Mints Flower andhttps://amzn.to/4gR6Fau This strain of weed and brand of jammies are both built for slumber parties. Not for beginners, Space Mints comes on strong, with chatty, gossip-friendly effects, before gradually transitioning into a more relaxed state perfect for movie watching. If you want to smoke more to re-up on chattiness, the pockets in the pants of these pajamas have plenty of room for your stash.
◆ Aeriz’s Ice Cream Cake Flower and David Archy Men’s Fleece Pajama Set: It’s hard to find a matching PJ set that doesn’t make it seem like a guy is doing a bit, but these David Archy fleece jammies deliver in that department. As a cross between Wedding Cake x Gelato #33, this Indica-dominant strain offers similar comfort to many seasoned smokers. The stylist cuffs around the pants make it so you are presentable enough to go on a snack run if needed. (The munchies are definitely a side effect to prep for.) And before you freak out about not being able to find your phone, check your pockets.
Look at Something for Three Hours Instead of Your Phone
It may sound ridiculous to spend three hours looking at one painting when the average museum going spends about eight seconds. But as the first course her History of Arts class at Harvard University, professor Jennifer L. Roberts has her students do just that with a single piece of art. The revelatory exercise demonstrates how humans have become so overstimulated that it’s changed how we perceive things. Mainly, we’re primed to look at things, but not to really take in all the details required to truly see something. After looking something a “painfully long time” Roberts’ students can start to shift and reflect on this perspective.
The substack Psychology Meets Writing points out that harnessing the art of “slow looking” can be useful for any field, but it’s particularly important for creativity. But ultimately, taking a slower look is a mindfulness exercised designed to keep you present. If you don’t have a whole 180 minutes to spare, PMW recommends starting small and looking for 10 minutes and keeping a journal of observations – again, not in your notes app.
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